ELLEN’S COUCH

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Santa Monica, CA 90405

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Adults Abused as Children

I’ve found over the years that many clients are surprised to discover that they were abused when they were children. They come into therapy because of unhappiness in their lives, feeling stuck and unable to move forward, finding themselves in the same kinds of relationships and situations over and over. 

Denial is a powerful defense mechanism that helps children survive and helps protect them from feelings that are too painful. They move into adulthood not recognizing that what happened to them was abuse.

What constitutes child abuse?

  1. •physical abuse

  2. •sexual abuse

  3. •physical and emotional neglect

  4. •psychological abuse

  5. •witnessing domestic violence

  6. •cruel and unusual punishment

  7. •corporal punishment

Acknowledging abuse can feel shameful and embarrassing; children get the message that there will be terrible consequences if they tell anyone. Admitting that one’s parents are less than perfect is difficult for most children. As children, we want and need to believe the best about our parents.

Faced with a choice between blaming our parents or blaming ourselves, we usually choose ourselves. “I was bad,”  “I was wrong,”  “I must have deserved it,” “I needed to be punished,” are all common, if false, beliefs of the abused child. 

Acknowledging one’s childhood abuse is often a first step toward getting unstuck and moving forward in one’s life. It’s a journey worth taking. 

 

Suffering and Healing: Opportunities for Growth

 

Browse my LIBRARY for books on these topics!